BBC Radio interview

So this evening I will be interview on BBC radio, I am told that it will be broadcast on all Local BBC radio stations so for me that will be BBC Sussex, from 8.05pm. I believe it is because of yet another cemetery asking people to take down things on their loved ones graves. I find this utterly outrageous for many reasons, the first and most practical is that as far as I no you have to purchase a grave plot.... Yes I mean Pay for that piece of land like we had to.

So is this not then yours to do as you please with? One would assume so.

Secondly and most importantly, for some people this is a huge part of their grief, and people need to be able to grieve in any way they see fit.... It is not harming anyone else. Grief is a horrendous and very complex emotion and anything that can ease this continuos pain is so, so important. That is why I started Gifts for Angels, it brings me comfort to tend Lola's grave and to put bright and beautiful pieces down for her.... There was nothing suitable to buy when Lola died, the usual grave vases were so dark and depressing and toys would blow away, or would look rather grim after a few days. I wanted something bright and beautiful and Fun just as my darling Lola was so this inspired me to start this business. It's about offering comfort in times of grief....
Now these products and bright and very lovely, they come packaged in recycled brown boxes and where possible I use recycled paper & bubble wrap to wrap them up, I don't spend money on beautiful packaging...... It's about the product, not the wrapping. I support brain tumor research in anyway I can and believe it or not I didn't start this business to make a fortune! I still have 2 other jobs, which I enjoy very much and they give me the flexibility to work around my 3 surviving children.
Gifts for Angels is very much about helping people with their grief and I have had many emails , FB messages etc from all over England and Ireland sharing with me their stories and I feel very honored. I have given many products away over the years but I can not do this for every body mainly because posting is so expensive, but I will always be there to support people via FB and phone, because sometimes just being around people that share this dreadful emotion is all you need and this helps me too.
I hope I come across ok tonight I have never done anything like this before but I really do welcome the opportunity. So wish me luck and if you have a spare moment this evening, listen to your local BBC radio station from 8.05pm.

Happy Birthday My Darling Lola

Happy Birthday My Darling Girl, 12 today! It seems so long since you were here its hard to imagine that you would now be 12 and looking forward to your 2nd year in High School.
I miss you every day and things are just not as good without you, no matter how much fun and laughter can fill a moment, it is never genuinely perfect without You! You have such a big influence on all out lives, Ava always mentions you in here literary at school, Lila-Bleu & Reya still send you up every balloon they can get their hands on, Daddy..... Well I see in his eyes every day how he misses you, his laugh, his smile is always just a little less full these days and me..... Well I still have to count out dinner plates, wash some of your clothes despite Lila-Bleu growing out of them, pray to God to keep you safe...Despite my indifference to Him for taking you in the first place!

Lola - My Darling Girl, My First born, My World..... I want you to know how much you are missed i miss your smile, your laugh, your love of  chocolate biscuits, pickled onion monster munch, Tonic Water & Cranberry Juice,the way you used to run everywhere, your kindness and  your courage.  There are not enough words to express all the things I've missed out on since you've been gone,it makes me sad to not know what school you would have chosen,  who is your best friend, what sports you like ..... this just goes on & on and I could spend hours thinking of all that I have missed out on but this really does not help.http://www.giftsforangels.co.uk

 I'm sorry I couldn't save you, I'm sorry I didn't have the knowledge to know what was wrong, I'm sorry I didn't appreciate your perfectness and intelligence as much as I should have. If I could hold you just one more time, feel your cuddles hear your voice, I would give so much My Darling. I know we will be together again one day, so stay close with Ganpa, Nana and Granda and tell them that I love them. Be kind, be wise but most of all Know how much you are Loved and Be Happy...... And have a wonderful 12th Birthday Sweet Girl.
Love you Always and forever,
Mummy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I Hate March www.giftsforangels.co.uk

So here we are again - March - Spring, the start of New Life and all that ....!
I hate this month, I hate the start of Spring, unlike most people in this country. I know its all about warmer weather, lighter days but for me it symbolizes one thing, 'Sadness'.
Yet again I am consumed with emotion, the heart break  of yet another year with out Lola, it will be 9 years on 22nd that she was taken so suddenly and life as I new it would never be the same .
 Her Sister's continue to grow and blossom and yet I am forever wondering which one of them she might look like now. Her cousins' and friends have all Started secondary school which I know nothing about.
All that time gone and I am left in limbo, Angry, Curious, Heart Broken basically every emotion I had back then, it doesn't change, you just learn to wear it better, it becomes part of  'The New You' - that person you have become now born out of grief  not the person you were before.... My God, who was that person? I wish I could meet her again, go back through time and tell her,
"Slow down, take time out  and  Appreciate Every Single moment with those you love because one day....." .
So today I hate March, I hate Spring, I hate Cancer, I hate Brain Tumours, I Hate Death.......
But Grief, well this is part of who I am now. It is always present and always necessary we have become old friends that are reliant on each other for survival.

htttp://www.giftsforangels.co.uk

Angel Babies

I recently met with a friend of mine who has just had her 3rd child. Up to this point she had never carried a child to full term and sadly lost her second child due to this reason. She has a lovely daughter and now a beautiful Son. Like most new Mothers she really was over joyed and is loving every moment with her New Little edition. Unlike most New Mothers she told me how pleased she was to get bigger with each month of pregnancy  and despite looking totally fabulous relayed to me how she does not care about her weight,
"If I need to by bigger clothes, then so be it!"

I understand that like my friend there are many Mothers who feel this way, especially after the loss of a baby.... I just wish most Mothers-to-be were not so fixated on loosing baby weight, but instead enjoy the whole experience and realise who lucky they actually are.

This blog post is dedicated to 'S' and all those little angles that never got a chance in this life.....
My heart goes out to their Parent's and families.

I have found this beautiful website especially dedicated to 'Baby Memorial Special Gifts'

http://www.alexandrasangelgifts.co.uk

http://www.giftsforangels.co.uk

Happy New Year

Happy New Year to you all.... Gifts for Angels had a great year in 2014 and thanks to the charity ball raised over £6000. for Brain Tumour Research. I hope it continues into 2015. We are looking at changing our website  just a little revamp to freshen things up, and we are hoping to introduce Personalised Precious Plaques.
It hasn't been easy trying to juggle work, kids and a new job and This blog has suffered as a result, so I promise to try and keep it more regular. With all these changes happening, the one constant in my life is always my Grief, and it continues to form a clarity and perspective of life in general. So I will continue in 2015 as I have done for the last 8 years - being thank full for what I do have in my life, Sad for what I have lost and Hopeful of what the future may hold.
I wish you all a Very Happy 2015 filled with fun, laughter & good health.
Michelle x

http://www.giftsforangels.co.

What Helps With Your Grief?

Christmas time suits me very well. Its the busiest time of year for most people, and I have found that since Lola died I have to constantly keep busy. At first I didn't notice it, but I was always planning the next thing, and if there didn't happen to be a Birthday or main event happening in the very near future I would immediately plan something like a dinner party or a big Sunday Lunch for the family. I guess I did it subconsciously at first and I did use to feel guilt as it seemed I was always rushing onto the next thing and not stopping for a moment to appreciate every day.... which of course is also important and probably the angle My Husband John takes from his grief. He is very much make every day count because you never know what the future will hold. He is right of course, but too much time gives my mind far too much free range. I think I will always be this way, organising the next new thing, which brings me on to my new job as Deputy Editor of Village Living Magazine. This is a local magazine run by my lovely friend Katie also a Mum at my Children's school. She has asked me to come on board because of my fashion and sales background and I am thoroughly enjoying every minute of it. So between Gifts for Angels, Village Living Magazine and the School Christmas Fayre, not to mention my own family Christmas I am happily tied up for the next month!
Does keeping busy help with your grief ? I would love to hear your thoughts.

http://www.giftsforangels.co.uk

http://www.villagelivingmagazine.co.uk

Gifts for Angels at Christmas Time new Products www.giftsforangels.co.uk

This Christmas I am so pleased to offer some lovely pieces to keep all our loved ones close in our hearts.

The personalised Christmas Baubles are back, which were so popular last year. I have my beautiful Glass bauble which sits pride of place on my christmas tree every year. In addition to these I now have a Sliver finished 'Tree Angel' and a real 'Slate Heart tree decoration' both of which can be personalised. The beautiful Stained glass Gifts, are perfect for any tree and can be made in any colour of your choice.

The Gold and Silver Grave Side Vases are back too.

I understand how hard Christmas time can be and I'm sure that will be the title of my next blog......

 http://www.giftsforangels.co.uk