Gifts for Angels & You Magazine Sunday November 24th 2013

Website of the week:giftsforangels.co.uk

Michelle Rice’s little daughter Lola died of a brain tumour in 2006. The sadness of visiting her grave was compounded by the lack of grave ornaments that were ‘bright, beautiful and fun – like Lola’, as well as durable and inexpensive, so Michelle started this website to give her family and others ‘a little piece of comfort’. Find funky cherubs (£21.99), coloured stone vases (£16.99) and handmade seed cards (£4.50) in this small, sweet range.

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Was so please with our write up from the very lovely "Sarah Stacey" at The Daily Mails "You Magazine" We have been really busy with orders since, happy? yes, but it is always a double edge sword! http://www.giftsforangels.co.uk

Grief at Christmas time www.giftsforangels.co.uk

So I have decided to do a small Christmas range, this consists of Gold & silver grave vases and personalized Christmas tree baubles. While the reaction has been lovely, I'm constantly aware of people's opinions. For instance my lovely photographer is always worrying about my products been photographed looking "too cool/beautiful" and I have to constantly remind her that this is what I want as a bereaved parent. Another friend is worried that by me promoting

my Christmas range, it's too, "in your face" ( her words, not mine) .... It's hard to know what is acceptable when advertising it on FB and twitter..
.. " you don't want to look like your making money from people's grief"  was another persons comment.
While I do make a small profit on My products, I am also trying to support the charity "Brain Tumour research", and most of all I started this whole thing for me, it was always about something I could have to put down for My Lola. Why could I not make her grave side look pretty? Especially on her Birthday.... And now Christmas. Every year I have a bag of Christmas ornaments that I place at her grave side. Now I am over the moon by the fact that I have gold & silver vases that I can fill with Holly and hang little decorations from the branches. So please believe me when I say, "Yes, it does make me happy" , to know that after I have finished decorating my tree at home with my other children I can then go to the cemetery and decorate Lola's & my Dad's grave side and this is the exact feeling I want to be able to offer to other bereaved people.
Christmas is a lovely time of year, but also a very hard & difficult time for any person who has Lost a loved one. Knowing that I can't celebrate it with my beautiful eldest daughter and my wonderful Dad, is the worst feeling in the world and Nothing can take this away, but I do get some comfort from knowing I can decorate their grave sides, and on Christmas morning when we go down to the cemetery their grave's are looking festive and lovely, this helps Me..... That is why I do what I do, I am not a Saint, I'm not a business woman I am simply a bereaved Mother & Daughter, trying to cope the best way I know how.
Any comments would be much appreciated.

www.giftsforangels.co.ukhttps://www.giftsforangels.co.uk

My birthday. www.giftsforangels.co.uk

 Last month was my 38th Birthday.... God it seems much older when you type it! Anyway as much as I haven't look forward to a Birthday since Lola died, I have been able to enjoy the last few and managed to celebrate and genuinely smile and have fun. This year as I sat on my bed and anticipated the stampede of my children bursting in with cards etc, I thought how fast the last 10 years had gone. I remember very clearly being 28 and it took me back to remember how perfect my life was then..... It was only 10 years ago, but Lola was alive and well, as we're my Mother & Father-in-law ( who I loved both dearly, like my own) and of course my Father was alive too. It struck me that in a mere 10years I had lost the most important people in my life,it didn't seem real or fair.... I wasn't 88 years old!!!!  That life feels like a lifetime ago, I was a different person. I didn't have to try to be happy, life was not such an effort I was perfectly happy.... And I probably didn't realize it! Do you ever get that feeling when you are in real physical pain.... Like tooth ache or tummy ache... Thinking I wish I just felt normal, why didn't I appreciate not having these pains before? I know it sounds crazy but I can't remember feeling normal,I over analyze everything, I question myself more now than ever before, I'm like a magnet to any depressing book or movie dispute being upset by the silliest of things. Recently I applied to that amazing website
"Notontehighsreet.com" because I thought it would be fantastic if they could stock some of the Gifts for Angels range, I knew it was a risk.... But after the reaction I have had from my customers I thought it was a huge market that they have not yet tapped into. Of course it was a very polite no thank you!!!! It upset me because I no they thought "o no, too sad, too depressing, don't want to be associated with death" yet because of how big they are, they are exactly the people to get my products to those that really need them. It's this attitude that makes people like me feel alone, after all  anything that brings a small amount of comfort in grief will always be welcomed with open arms..... Trust me I know.http://www.giftsforangels.co.uk



http://www.giftsforangels.co.uk

Lola's up and coming Birthday

So this week end will be Lola's 10th Birthday, I sit here and imagine what I would be doing, of course organising her Party which would be on the Saturday at My Mums house, swimming in her pool. John would be doing the BBQ and I would now be busy organising food and drink and party bags, do 10yr olds have party bags? would this be a party she wanted or would she prefer a more grown up cinema and dinner party? who would she invite? these questions have been flying around in my mind now for the last couple of weeks. I always try and make my children's parties special I make a really big deal out of them, and I really think its because I thought I would have so many more with Lola and I didn't. I feel cheated! I feel angry with myself that her last ever Birthday party, her 2nd, was held the day after my Husbands & Sister in laws 40th, and consequently there were a lot more people there than She knew, it turned into something I didn't want but at the time I didn't see it as a big deal! I wish it had just been family, her best friend Harry, cousin Keira and her new baby sister - Ava. I can't believe she will be 10 years old, I last saw her when she was just 2years 8months, I want so badly just to have a small incite into the person she would have become, to see her laugh one more time, play with her sisters, have a conversation, tell me what she wants for dinner, silly things like this would make me the happiest person in the world !I know this can never happen and it breaks my heart even more. My new neighbours who I am very good friends with have their daughter's birthday party on the Saturday, I don't know what to do, my girls will enjoy it, but the guilt of being at another child's birthday party will be so hard and being neighbours its very hard to avoid!
My youngest Daughter is now 2years 11 months, I recently looked through some of Lola's things that I had kept, all her little socks now fit Lila-Bleu and some of her knickers too. I was never able to open this case when my other 2 were little but I am glad I did it this week. Each little pair of socks has a small memory that makes me smile and remember how gorgeous and yummy Lola was, she was my little shadow, we were together all the time. She was my first child and I never thought I could love someone as much as I loved her.....

http://www.giftsforangels.co.uk    

Faith, Religion & Reality - www.giftsforangels.co.uk

I have joined various groups over the years, on FB or memorial websites like Gonetoosoon. I have found comfort in being surrounded by other peoples grief, when I say comfort I mean these groups are a place where I feel comfortable.Reading how others have lost their children, how they cope with their grief and how they struggle with their lives at times makes me feel less alone. I have noticed that many of my "American Friends"on these sites have a huge amount of faith. In a way I am envious of this, as since Lola died I have been battling a lot with my faith and God! I was raised a catholic and have also put my girls into a catholic school and when Lola first died I went to church more, and although I was angry with God for taking her, I new she was safe now and with him. As much as I still believe in God, I am drawn further away from the catholic religion and its hypocrisy. I have lost faith in the Priests with the bad press that surrounds them, so many Paedophiles too many to ignore. Isn't it funny how you are brought up to believe something and for years and years you do so just because you were once told to! If you actually stop and consider things how many of us would change it ? As I chose to send my children to a catholic school I find myself in church far more than I would like. On Sunday we were at the Holy Communion of our friends daughter, and as I sat their and listened to the Priest's sermon (which as a child & young adult I never did!) almost everything he said I either questioned or disagreed with. Now I do believe in God, I believe in heaven and I believe that when we die we all go there, I believe in the saints and angels but beyond that I am not sure. I am not nor have I ever been inspired when I go to church, should this not be so? Loosing Lola has opened my eyes more than I would have liked , you see the imperfections in the world in HD, Death becomes a reality, nothing surprises you, and the phrase,  "It'll never happen to me",  is obsolete.

Please note these are My opinions and My feelings, I do not wish to offend anyone.

www.giftsforangels.co.uk  in memory of My Angel, Lola Rice - Unique Grave side ornaments that are Bright & Beautiful just as she was, for a free brochure you can contact me via the website x

My perfect Lola above, http://www.giftsforangels.co.uk and Precious Plaque grave side ornament available in other styles x

Birthdays are Hard. www.giftsforangels.co.uk

It has been a crazy few weeks so I apologise for no posts but between the technical problems and loads of orders it has been a whirlwind but I am please to say that Gifts for Angels seems to be taking off nicely, so thank you all and please keep passing the word around.
 
This time of year is very hard, between Today and mid August its when Lola's closest friends/cousins all have their birthdays. This year they all turn the Big 10! There isn't many as Lola never got a chance to go to school, but as I rang my gorgeous Harry to wish him a Happy Birthday Today (he was Lola's Best Friend), I couldn't help but think it should have been Lola ringing him, and Lola going to "Laser Quest today" with him and his friends. Just watching them all grow up so fast is a reminder of how frozen in time I had become, the last time I held my daughter she was a small nearly 3 year old. I want to see her now as a 10 year old, I want to have all my 4 daughters here together with Me. I look at the Year 5 Kids in my kids school and I wonder who would have been Lola's friends? are they a nice class? I go out with my 3 gorgeous girls and I want to scream at people, total strangers just to let everyone know that I should have 4 girls with me!I think every bereaved parent must feel the same, I do appreciate the fact that I have 3 children here. I am fully aware of the fact that some Parents looses their one and only child and my heart breaks for them too. My life is full and busy with 3 kids,a business and a lovely husband that works too hard, but all of this is what keeps me going. Lack of time is my ultimate Super Power when it comes to not getting depressed. Its true, it helps me put her death far, far into the back of my mind, when I say her death I mean exactly how she died, those days leading up to it and her funeral..... of course at the forefront of my mind always is "Lola", but how she Lived, how she was my little buddy my shadow..... This may seem confusing to a lot of you, but if I allowed myself to relive those fate full days I wouldn't get out of bed in the morning! It took all the strength I had to write about those days in such detail on this blog back in February and March and I never re read it. I miss her every day, our Family has a huge hole that can only be filled by her. She was my First Born, My Pride and Joy she made us all Smile and laugh and she brought such joy to our whole family in her short little life, she is missed to eternity and Loved beyond..... x

 Precious Plaque Grave side ornaments - Missed to Eternity and Loved Beyond  and
  Daughter Always in My Heart , both available a http:// www.giftsforangels.co.uk

www.giftsforangels.co.uk / A bad week

So my website is still experiencing technical issues and I am told that most of the material (if not all) has been lost. This is through no fault of my own and there is some dispute between the company that host my site and the main serve in Germany as to the blame! Well I am still non the wiser and unfortunately did get extremely frustrated and unloaded both barrels on the guy that is meant to be sorting it out.   It was the same week that my mobile broke, again through no fault of my own, I then was promised another temporary mobile which I drove into town to collect with 2, 2year old and no double buggy (that bit was my fault!) Only to be told that they didn't have one for me, it was also the same week that we had had a large family argument! So I was partly wanting to burst into tears and partly wanting to physically assault somebody (which of course I never would) , but it really has been a horrendous couple of days...... and I can't help but ask myself would any of this have been such a big deal 7 years ago? Sure I would have been upset over a family argument but would it have kept me awake every night? and yes I am extremely annoyed about my website but would I have been quite so angry and patronising to the person on the other end of the phone? and with my mobile..... would it have really made my blood boil so much?
I just don't remember being such an angry person that can get be so brutally honest with a complete stranger. I know loosing Lola has made me a much tougher but sometimes I need to have a word with myself, try to calm myself down and look at the bigger picture. I normally carry on so well, I'm together and happy on the outside, most of the time.... but when silly things all go wrong it really becomes much more of a big deal than it should. My basic make-up has changed so much, that sometimes I don't recognise myself. I think a psychologist would say that I'm still angry about loosing Lola,and this anger manifest itself when other things go wrong?  I don't  know if I'm angry but I'm definitely still shocked by her death even after 7 years. I miss her every day and sometimes the pain still feels like she died yesterday but because of time I have got better at blocking the pain out. It is something that has to be blocked out in order that I can function properly through each and every day so it is suppressed but I need to be much more aware of other people,  grief is a part of me not an excuse for my behaviour.

I do apologise for the website problems, but you can contact me through FB or my email address below.
www.facebook.cpm/giftsforangels.co.uk    Precious Plaque and Funky cherubs Grave side ornaments
                                                                     and Grave Vases, delivery 2-5 days please contact me for
                                                                     Prices or a free brochure
michelle@giftsforangels.co.uk