Faith, Religion & Reality - www.giftsforangels.co.uk

I have joined various groups over the years, on FB or memorial websites like Gonetoosoon. I have found comfort in being surrounded by other peoples grief, when I say comfort I mean these groups are a place where I feel comfortable.Reading how others have lost their children, how they cope with their grief and how they struggle with their lives at times makes me feel less alone. I have noticed that many of my "American Friends"on these sites have a huge amount of faith. In a way I am envious of this, as since Lola died I have been battling a lot with my faith and God! I was raised a catholic and have also put my girls into a catholic school and when Lola first died I went to church more, and although I was angry with God for taking her, I new she was safe now and with him. As much as I still believe in God, I am drawn further away from the catholic religion and its hypocrisy. I have lost faith in the Priests with the bad press that surrounds them, so many Paedophiles too many to ignore. Isn't it funny how you are brought up to believe something and for years and years you do so just because you were once told to! If you actually stop and consider things how many of us would change it ? As I chose to send my children to a catholic school I find myself in church far more than I would like. On Sunday we were at the Holy Communion of our friends daughter, and as I sat their and listened to the Priest's sermon (which as a child & young adult I never did!) almost everything he said I either questioned or disagreed with. Now I do believe in God, I believe in heaven and I believe that when we die we all go there, I believe in the saints and angels but beyond that I am not sure. I am not nor have I ever been inspired when I go to church, should this not be so? Loosing Lola has opened my eyes more than I would have liked , you see the imperfections in the world in HD, Death becomes a reality, nothing surprises you, and the phrase,  "It'll never happen to me",  is obsolete.

Please note these are My opinions and My feelings, I do not wish to offend anyone.

www.giftsforangels.co.uk  in memory of My Angel, Lola Rice - Unique Grave side ornaments that are Bright & Beautiful just as she was, for a free brochure you can contact me via the website x

My perfect Lola above, http://www.giftsforangels.co.uk and Precious Plaque grave side ornament available in other styles x

Birthdays are Hard. www.giftsforangels.co.uk

It has been a crazy few weeks so I apologise for no posts but between the technical problems and loads of orders it has been a whirlwind but I am please to say that Gifts for Angels seems to be taking off nicely, so thank you all and please keep passing the word around.
 
This time of year is very hard, between Today and mid August its when Lola's closest friends/cousins all have their birthdays. This year they all turn the Big 10! There isn't many as Lola never got a chance to go to school, but as I rang my gorgeous Harry to wish him a Happy Birthday Today (he was Lola's Best Friend), I couldn't help but think it should have been Lola ringing him, and Lola going to "Laser Quest today" with him and his friends. Just watching them all grow up so fast is a reminder of how frozen in time I had become, the last time I held my daughter she was a small nearly 3 year old. I want to see her now as a 10 year old, I want to have all my 4 daughters here together with Me. I look at the Year 5 Kids in my kids school and I wonder who would have been Lola's friends? are they a nice class? I go out with my 3 gorgeous girls and I want to scream at people, total strangers just to let everyone know that I should have 4 girls with me!I think every bereaved parent must feel the same, I do appreciate the fact that I have 3 children here. I am fully aware of the fact that some Parents looses their one and only child and my heart breaks for them too. My life is full and busy with 3 kids,a business and a lovely husband that works too hard, but all of this is what keeps me going. Lack of time is my ultimate Super Power when it comes to not getting depressed. Its true, it helps me put her death far, far into the back of my mind, when I say her death I mean exactly how she died, those days leading up to it and her funeral..... of course at the forefront of my mind always is "Lola", but how she Lived, how she was my little buddy my shadow..... This may seem confusing to a lot of you, but if I allowed myself to relive those fate full days I wouldn't get out of bed in the morning! It took all the strength I had to write about those days in such detail on this blog back in February and March and I never re read it. I miss her every day, our Family has a huge hole that can only be filled by her. She was my First Born, My Pride and Joy she made us all Smile and laugh and she brought such joy to our whole family in her short little life, she is missed to eternity and Loved beyond..... x

 Precious Plaque Grave side ornaments - Missed to Eternity and Loved Beyond  and
  Daughter Always in My Heart , both available a http:// www.giftsforangels.co.uk

www.giftsforangels.co.uk / A bad week

So my website is still experiencing technical issues and I am told that most of the material (if not all) has been lost. This is through no fault of my own and there is some dispute between the company that host my site and the main serve in Germany as to the blame! Well I am still non the wiser and unfortunately did get extremely frustrated and unloaded both barrels on the guy that is meant to be sorting it out.   It was the same week that my mobile broke, again through no fault of my own, I then was promised another temporary mobile which I drove into town to collect with 2, 2year old and no double buggy (that bit was my fault!) Only to be told that they didn't have one for me, it was also the same week that we had had a large family argument! So I was partly wanting to burst into tears and partly wanting to physically assault somebody (which of course I never would) , but it really has been a horrendous couple of days...... and I can't help but ask myself would any of this have been such a big deal 7 years ago? Sure I would have been upset over a family argument but would it have kept me awake every night? and yes I am extremely annoyed about my website but would I have been quite so angry and patronising to the person on the other end of the phone? and with my mobile..... would it have really made my blood boil so much?
I just don't remember being such an angry person that can get be so brutally honest with a complete stranger. I know loosing Lola has made me a much tougher but sometimes I need to have a word with myself, try to calm myself down and look at the bigger picture. I normally carry on so well, I'm together and happy on the outside, most of the time.... but when silly things all go wrong it really becomes much more of a big deal than it should. My basic make-up has changed so much, that sometimes I don't recognise myself. I think a psychologist would say that I'm still angry about loosing Lola,and this anger manifest itself when other things go wrong?  I don't  know if I'm angry but I'm definitely still shocked by her death even after 7 years. I miss her every day and sometimes the pain still feels like she died yesterday but because of time I have got better at blocking the pain out. It is something that has to be blocked out in order that I can function properly through each and every day so it is suppressed but I need to be much more aware of other people,  grief is a part of me not an excuse for my behaviour.

I do apologise for the website problems, but you can contact me through FB or my email address below.
www.facebook.cpm/giftsforangels.co.uk    Precious Plaque and Funky cherubs Grave side ornaments
                                                                     and Grave Vases, delivery 2-5 days please contact me for
                                                                     Prices or a free brochure
michelle@giftsforangels.co.uk

Gone too soon & www.giftsforangels.co.uk

I am so pleased that the memorial website gonetoosoon is stocking my Precious Plaque Grave ornaments. This memorial website was such a hugh comfort to me when Lola first passed away. It was before FB, Blogging & tweeting (i think) or at least it was before I was familiar with any of them! So here was a website that I could easily manage, have a tribute page to my daughter where I could light candels and put music on and most importantly it gave me a community of people that shared my grief. It was the first time I didn't feel alone, and this was such a comfort. It really is a wonderful community of people and I am very proud to have them sell my products.

www.giftsforangels.co.uk  in loving memory of Lola Helena Catherine Rice

www.gonetoosoon.org

http://www.giftsforangels.co.uk

www.giftsforangels.co.uk unite with memorial website gonetoosoon.org

I am so pleased to inform you all that the wonderful memorial website www.gonetoosoon.org will be selling my Grave Side ornaments & bright Grave Vases. So I hope that together we can bring others a piece of comfort in their grief.

http://www.giftsforangels.co.ukhttp://www.gonetoosoon.org

Precious Plaque range

Having Fun Again , www.giftsforangels.co.uk

I recently went to a 80s Fancy dress charity night with my husband, my 2 brother-in-laws and sister-in-law and we had such a great time, laughing and dancing all evening it really was a brilliant night. As much as I woke up the next morning feeling rather worse for wear, this was as a result of the cocktails I was quenching my thirst with, not the overwhelming guilt that I used to wake up with some time ago. I can't tell you when it started to feel OK to have a good time, but I can tell you that it does happen. You do learn to laugh and see the fun in life again, even as I shared the hilarious pictures of our night with my 3 lovely girls I felt OK. I know it has been 7 years since Lola died and although I miss her every day, I am able to laugh and have fun without feeling guilty and I am able to enjoy a few drinks without bursting into tears at the end of a night! Time does not ease our pain, but it does help us get used to it. This pain that is constant we learn to carry with us every day, it is part of our new make-up and we can not live without it, nor would I wish to.

Our 1980's Fancy dress night in aid of St Barnabs Hospice, Worthing W.Sussex., organised by Josie & Andy from "Funkylush Events" .http://www.giftsforangels.co.uk

Gifts for Angels : Bright & Beautiful Grave side ornaments & sympathy gifts

Visiting a Loved one's graveside www.giftsforangels.co.uk

Visiting a Grave of someone you love can be so hard and some people feel the need to go a lot and others can not bring themselves to even enter the cemetery. For me I have felt both of these emotions during the last 7 years. At the very beginning my husband went every day without fail, he used to say that he just wanted to be near her,but for me it was too final and I could not bring myself to go, it was like I was accepting the fact that my daughter was gone and I was not yet ready to do this.  I remember her 3rd Birthday, it was 4 months after she died and I was distraught, still in shock but also the reality had started to set in. I was physically in pain from grief and I wanted so badly to buy her a present. I remember walking around Toys R Us and looking at all the "Fifi" stuff and "The Wiggles" guitar that I had promised her I would get. I finally settled on a little plastic car with Fifi in, I put it on her grave side and I thought about all the other Mum's and Dad's that had lost children what do they buy? was I being crazy? Over the next few weeks I spent a lot of time looking for things that I could buy and put down for her. The garden centre's had the odd thing, but most things just looked like they belonged in the garden of a retired old man! I wanted something bright, beautiful and fun just as Lola was. Lola loved hearts so the idea of a bright coloured stone heart came to me and I mentioned this to my Mother, who was about to make her annual trip to Sri Lank,
"I'll get one of those made for you," she said "would you like anything written on it?" she asked
I knew the exact words I wanted, it was words My Mother-in-law said to her grand daughters when she was dying
"If you ever need me, I will always be in your heart"
So the first stone heart came back from Sri Lank, bright pink with the words "Always in my heart" . I remember the feeling I had when I first saw it, I new Lola would have loved it and it did make her grave side look so much better. My mum also had one made and placed it in her garden where Lola use to play. This small piece of stone gave me such comfort, that I wanted to share it with others. I spent the next 3-4 years working on designs and bringing products over for friends and family, and eventually "Gifts for Angels" was born. It has given me a great focus and purpose and I am so grateful for this. It was born out of love for my darling Angel Lola, and now I want to offer it to others. I do not have a big mark up on these products, I want to be able to give 10% to brain tumour research.  My philosophy is we buy gifts for our loved ones when they are here with us, so why not when they are gone, because the are never forgotten.
To view the products that are available please go to www.giftsforangels.co.uk
http://www.giftsforangels.co.uk

Stone shaped heart, Precious Plaque