Thursday, 20 June 2013

Faith, Religion & Reality -

I have joined various groups over the years, on FB or memorial websites like Gonetoosoon. I have found comfort in being surrounded by other peoples grief, when I say comfort I mean these groups are a place where I feel comfortable.Reading how others have lost their children, how they cope with their grief and how they struggle with their lives at times makes me feel less alone. I have noticed that many of my "American Friends"on these sites have a huge amount of faith. In a way I am envious of this, as since Lola died I have been battling a lot with my faith and God! I was raised a catholic and have also put my girls into a catholic school and when Lola first died I went to church more, and although I was angry with God for taking her, I new she was safe now and with him. As much as I still believe in God, I am drawn further away from the catholic religion and its hypocrisy. I have lost faith in the Priests with the bad press that surrounds them, so many Paedophiles too many to ignore. Isn't it funny how you are brought up to believe something and for years and years you do so just because you were once told to! If you actually stop and consider things how many of us would change it ? As I chose to send my children to a catholic school I find myself in church far more than I would like. On Sunday we were at the Holy Communion of our friends daughter, and as I sat their and listened to the Priest's sermon (which as a child & young adult I never did!) almost everything he said I either questioned or disagreed with. Now I do believe in God, I believe in heaven and I believe that when we die we all go there, I believe in the saints and angels but beyond that I am not sure. I am not nor have I ever been inspired when I go to church, should this not be so? Loosing Lola has opened my eyes more than I would have liked , you see the imperfections in the world in HD, Death becomes a reality, nothing surprises you, and the phrase,  "It'll never happen to me",  is obsolete.

Please note these are My opinions and My feelings, I do not wish to offend anyone.  in memory of My Angel, Lola Rice - Unique Grave side ornaments that are Bright & Beautiful just as she was, for a free brochure you can contact me via the website x

My perfect Lola above, and Precious Plaque grave side ornament available in other styles x

Tuesday, 11 June 2013

Birthdays are Hard.

It has been a crazy few weeks so I apologise for no posts but between the technical problems and loads of orders it has been a whirlwind but I am please to say that Gifts for Angels seems to be taking off nicely, so thank you all and please keep passing the word around.
This time of year is very hard, between Today and mid August its when Lola's closest friends/cousins all have their birthdays. This year they all turn the Big 10! There isn't many as Lola never got a chance to go to school, but as I rang my gorgeous Harry to wish him a Happy Birthday Today (he was Lola's Best Friend), I couldn't help but think it should have been Lola ringing him, and Lola going to "Laser Quest today" with him and his friends. Just watching them all grow up so fast is a reminder of how frozen in time I had become, the last time I held my daughter she was a small nearly 3 year old. I want to see her now as a 10 year old, I want to have all my 4 daughters here together with Me. I look at the Year 5 Kids in my kids school and I wonder who would have been Lola's friends? are they a nice class? I go out with my 3 gorgeous girls and I want to scream at people, total strangers just to let everyone know that I should have 4 girls with me!I think every bereaved parent must feel the same, I do appreciate the fact that I have 3 children here. I am fully aware of the fact that some Parents looses their one and only child and my heart breaks for them too. My life is full and busy with 3 kids,a business and a lovely husband that works too hard, but all of this is what keeps me going. Lack of time is my ultimate Super Power when it comes to not getting depressed. Its true, it helps me put her death far, far into the back of my mind, when I say her death I mean exactly how she died, those days leading up to it and her funeral..... of course at the forefront of my mind always is "Lola", but how she Lived, how she was my little buddy my shadow..... This may seem confusing to a lot of you, but if I allowed myself to relive those fate full days I wouldn't get out of bed in the morning! It took all the strength I had to write about those days in such detail on this blog back in February and March and I never re read it. I miss her every day, our Family has a huge hole that can only be filled by her. She was my First Born, My Pride and Joy she made us all Smile and laugh and she brought such joy to our whole family in her short little life, she is missed to eternity and Loved beyond..... x

 Precious Plaque Grave side ornaments - Missed to Eternity and Loved Beyond  and
  Daughter Always in My Heart , both available a http://