I think the fact that John and I seem very together and fine to the outside world, must make people think we are unbelievably strong, hence the......,
"I don't know how you do it" and
"You two are truly amazing!" comments,
Firstly I don't remember being given a choice and secondly we have 3 other children 7yrs, 5yrs and 2yrs so we have no option but to be outwardly happy and together and let me tell you this in itself is exhausting, but I don't want to give my kids even a glimpse of our sadness. Its bad enough that they have to be touched by death at such a young age. We speak about Lola all the time and she is very much a part of our family. We send up balloons on her Birthday but we try to keep the anniversary of her death away from them that is why its better to be around other people, the people that shared our loss, the people that loved her like we did, the people that carried us through those first few debilitating days, weeks & months. Being alone is just too hard.
Lola with her Big Cousin "Shaun", she really adored him.