Hello All and Happy New Year, sorry I don't seem to be able to manage to write regularly any more, I do it when I feel inspired, stressed or just fed up! To day it is inspiration that brings me to my keyboard. With all the pain I go through as a bereaved parent means I can be of some use to others in my situation. I am further along with my grief and I was recently asked a very honest question from another bereaved mother,
" does it get easier?" And my answer was
"Yes". Life has away of bending to the traumas it throws at us. I honestly said that the pain does not leave you, nor would you want it to.... This pain is your scar, a reminder of your greatest gift & loss. A scar that you learn to hide, not because of others but so you can get up and meet the demands of each and every day. You are never the same person after experiencing such sadness, you are not a complete person anymore a party of you is missing. If for instance you had your right hand amputated, you would have to learn to do everything with your left hand.... It would be hard but you would have very little choice. In a similar way grief gives you no choice but to learn to live a different way.
Sometimes when I have these email/ phone conversations with other Mums in my position, it amazes me how easy it is. We have a mutual vulnerability a complete understanding of each other and yet we have never met, I have no idea about their general life, what their husband does for a living, where they were brought up and yet I am at ease in there company speaking to them about the most personal part of my life. We know so little about each other but we are drawn together because of the unspeakable agony that we all live with. Many of our usual friends will try to understand our pain but they never can & as time goes on people stop asking, but once someone has walked your path they understand and will always understand in 2 years or 22 years they will still get it! We are not alone, and sometimes that's all we need to hear.
My love & strength I send to you all my friends , who knows maybe one day we may all actually meet!
www.http://www.giftsforangels.co.uk
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