Today 8 years ago My Lola left our house for the very last time.
This week has been much easier than last week, and today I'm feeling calm and together. I can't explain why, grief has a strange way of hitting you at different times. Sometimes it's so over whelming that its crippling and the pain becomes physical and other days, like today, you know that you should feel sad and cry and yet I'm numb! I think maybe it's a coping mechanism or maybe it's just I'm eight years along now and I have become a master of hiding my emotions.... Even from myself. At any point I can sit down and relive those fateful days and I'm transported back in time and the pain feels exactly the same. This pain lives within me, it is a huge part of me. It fills the empty space in my heart and although it hurts me, I would not be without it. It is this pain that is a reminder of My Loss, My Daughter, My Baby. So days like today, when I feel mostly numb, I must embrace, for its the numbness of the pain that allows me to carry on.....
http://www.giftsforangels.co.uk
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