www.giftsforangels.co.uk / A bad week

So my website is still experiencing technical issues and I am told that most of the material (if not all) has been lost. This is through no fault of my own and there is some dispute between the company that host my site and the main serve in Germany as to the blame! Well I am still non the wiser and unfortunately did get extremely frustrated and unloaded both barrels on the guy that is meant to be sorting it out.   It was the same week that my mobile broke, again through no fault of my own, I then was promised another temporary mobile which I drove into town to collect with 2, 2year old and no double buggy (that bit was my fault!) Only to be told that they didn't have one for me, it was also the same week that we had had a large family argument! So I was partly wanting to burst into tears and partly wanting to physically assault somebody (which of course I never would) , but it really has been a horrendous couple of days...... and I can't help but ask myself would any of this have been such a big deal 7 years ago? Sure I would have been upset over a family argument but would it have kept me awake every night? and yes I am extremely annoyed about my website but would I have been quite so angry and patronising to the person on the other end of the phone? and with my mobile..... would it have really made my blood boil so much?
I just don't remember being such an angry person that can get be so brutally honest with a complete stranger. I know loosing Lola has made me a much tougher but sometimes I need to have a word with myself, try to calm myself down and look at the bigger picture. I normally carry on so well, I'm together and happy on the outside, most of the time.... but when silly things all go wrong it really becomes much more of a big deal than it should. My basic make-up has changed so much, that sometimes I don't recognise myself. I think a psychologist would say that I'm still angry about loosing Lola,and this anger manifest itself when other things go wrong?  I don't  know if I'm angry but I'm definitely still shocked by her death even after 7 years. I miss her every day and sometimes the pain still feels like she died yesterday but because of time I have got better at blocking the pain out. It is something that has to be blocked out in order that I can function properly through each and every day so it is suppressed but I need to be much more aware of other people,  grief is a part of me not an excuse for my behaviour.

I do apologise for the website problems, but you can contact me through FB or my email address below.
www.facebook.cpm/giftsforangels.co.uk    Precious Plaque and Funky cherubs Grave side ornaments
                                                                     and Grave Vases, delivery 2-5 days please contact me for
                                                                     Prices or a free brochure
michelle@giftsforangels.co.uk