So we were still in accident and emergency at Worthing hospital, by this stage I was clearly in shock and utter disbelief that it had now been some time and yet these professionals were still non the wiser into what was wrong with My Baby.... They had called over a pediatric Dr from the main hospital they had cut off her old H&M top and she now had even more machines around her. There was a mention at this stage of "Menengitis" to the brain, which sent me into a mad panic and I broke down on the phone to my Sister-in-law, "Tracey".... Who was on her way to collect Ava for me. I remember Her taking Ava and me just telling her to ring around and let the family know. We were then moved into a tiny room somewhere upstairs and here we were left alone just John myself & our Gorgeous Little Girl.... It can't have been long, but I remember the silence as we sat either side of her ... There were no words to exchange, we were both just trying to comprehend the last few hours, how did we get here? So helpless to the fate off our first born baby? Drs & nurses came and went giving us the snippets of information they could, but it was quite clear they were still unsure. My sister, "Francoise" had arrived by this point in tears of worry and so now there were three of us here in silence... The pediatric Dr came back and explained that they were still unsure, and that we would have to go to London, but first they wanted to give Lola a brain scan. As they prepped her to be moved my mind was blank, I held her hand as she was wheeled down corridors and into the room where the scan was to take place. We were asked to wait outside and it seemed like hours but in reality it must have been more like 20-30 minutes. When the doors eventually opened I looked straight at the Person in charge. He was standing at the head of Lola's bed and my eyes met his, I could feel the desperation of my stare. He looked away..... This spoke volumes to me and I couldn't help but ask,
"Well was everything ok?".....
" We'll speak upstairs," Was the response, his eyes fixed on the floor.
This terrified me, and I new then that there was a major problem, but nothing was to prepare me for the next sentence....
"Lola, has a very large brain tumour covering the right side of her brain".
I wish I could describe to you the strength at which these words hit me, but that would be impossible. I was sitting down yet I felt like I was falling uncontrollably . My heart stopped and the tears started
streaming, I felt like I was screaming or trying to but http://www.giftsforangels.co.uknothing would come out. I could feel John's arms holding me tight as if to keep my body together.... I was falling apart....... My life was never going to be the same again.....
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